STARGATE MISSIONS - EPISODE TITLE: THE DUKE OF EARL

     An older Air Force officer by the name of Brigadier General Joseph Caldwell is transferred to Cheyenne Mountain to remain until he wishes to retire. He has served as a pilot (choose whichever conflict sounds most plausible, or keep it a secret) and has been a career soldier ever since.   He’s an aging man but an excellent officer and he goes strictly by the book (which makes him an ideal duty officer if one has not been chosen). You can introduce Old Joe during other missions to establish him as the new guy on the block. Old Joe can be a hard man but he's not without the desire to socialize - it's just that his definition of socializing is reminiscing. He’ll go into stories about "the old days" at the drop of a hat and he counts those days as the best – and they’re gone, along with most of his old companions.

     One of the first things that Old Joe Caldwell insists upon is more recreational time on Earth for the many stargate teams, for the sake of their sanity and health. He begins to order outings – to the zoo, the movies, plays, etc. Characters can and will be ordered to recreate, which could end up in amusing scenes.  Characters will also begin to hear about Caldwell's efforts to reoutfit the lounge on level 18 with better accoutrements: couches, small tables, a genuine classic juke box and even an ice cream/soda fountain. The juke is full of oldies that he fires up every time he goes into the lounge, always starting with "The Duke of Earl" by Gene Chandler. 

     I made a CD when I ran this scenario, based on what I felt old Joe would play to remind him of his good old times and I played it during the climax scene outlined below below. My players loved it. Quite a few of the songs came on at hilarious moments when events were heating up and they worked perfectly. I would suggest sticking with the oldies for the feel of it and if by some chance you're not familiar with these songs, give them an honest try. Although I was born after these songs had had their heydey, I will always love them in the deepest parts of my heart. Some of the songs I used were:

     A lot of the personnel, especially the younger ones, laugh at these last touches, which makes Old Joe very angry. He gets angrier and more forceful as time goes on, and one day he begins to report that airmen are playing tricks on him. They’re turning on the juke when he’s alone in the lounge. They’ve blown out the television set in his room. He’s ordered to the medical bay for examination, to add insult to injury. The cameras in the lounge catch the juke box turning on by itself but that is deemed a malfunction of the old machinery. The juke is going to be sold. Colonel Caldwell, on hearing this, tenders his resignation.

     Small machine malfunctions begin to happen all over the base and to the player characters. Battery-operated items are found dead (flash lights, radios) or begin to operate sporadically (cell phones ringing, playing games) for no discernable reason.

     Brigadier General Caldwell finds his room a mess on the day he goes to pack and he checks a video camera he set up to catch any miscreant activity. The camera has a very patchy recording even though it is brand new; he bought it only a week before. He tries to show others the vandalism but the picture is too unstable to see much, and the room is dark (even though he left the lights on). The images can be cleaned up using computer software (Surveillance check for black and white security camera DC 25, takes 1 hour). The footage reveals a great deal of activity – the telephone ringing, Old Joe's razor buzzing, nose hair trimmer, radio).

      There are two ways for the creatures responsible to have entered the base. One option is to send the player characters to an abandoned world with a ruined civilization that was high in technology. Things are in obvious disarray but there is no obvious cause.  The player characters will notice a few very small flickers of electricity before returning. On the other hand, another team might have visited P2Y-187 and brought the life form back with them. The life form is so tiny it can’t be seen by the naked eye and it is able to take over power sources, from electricity to battery power. The species is mischevious, however, and only wants to play games and thrill in the electricity that is their natural element – they don’t realize the harm they cause until it is too late.

     The intercom system begins to play "The Duke of Earl" throughout the mountain at about the same time computers and cell phones begin to act up, often playing games like Tetris without being prompted. General Hammond orders a complete base lockdown, as well as a recall of all outside personnel and all of their machinery. All exits have to be sealed manually. In the meantime, computers and all other machines (elevators, lights, temperature regulation) are unstable. Foodstuffs are being maintained through ice because refrigeration sporadic.

     The species is comprised of biomechanoid nanocytes that, when active, give off energy signatures that can be found - if detection machinery is working well enough to be trusted, which is very unlikely. Still, a search might turn up an uncontaminated, isolated terminal to work on. Communication can be attempted through the manipulation of the greater machine works in the complex (the mainframe, the main power grid) or via radio waves (Cultures, Languages). The species now calls itself the Tetri and the nanocytes can be reasoned with, although they are simple creatures and need simple explanations. They jump from system to system when they are in a relatively close radius (10 or so feet) and get used to their new environment. The more complex the system is, the longer it takes for them to begin to manipulate it, but their manipulations are for their enjoyment: because they can, and because it feels good to them. When a machine is deprived of energy (disconnected, for example) the Tetri can try to draw upon their own stores to operate it, but this costs them lives. Most of the time they hibernate until energy flow begins again.  When they are made to realize what they are doing to the base (and/or what they did to their former world) they will probably feel guilty enough to stop. EMP will kill them.

     If the player characters help the Tetri they will gain a good many of them as willing allies, confined most times to a special section of the base in which they agree to stay.  If any of the characters come by any cybernetic implants they could ask for permission to carry some Tetri with them.  The Tetri can infiltrate technology and, with time, try to find out what it is used for, which can come in handy for the SGC.

     If the player characters are helpful to Joe Caldwell in this escapade, they will earn some gratitude. If they believe him when others don't and support him while others laugh, they will earn a friend for quite some time.  Although Joe has his limits, he can be a very useful person to have on your side, especially if he is the duty officer.

Layout and text created by Patricia Willenborg 2005-2008 unless otherwise noted.  See full disclaimer information here.