kismet's world of darkness title

Panders: A View from Without

by: Xavier Lev-Argonne A Legacy Article from Sanguinus Curae

Panders? What is there to say about them? They're sheep in vampires' clothing in Sabbat sportswear. They're clanless sons of bitches like every other Caitiff that pollutes the streets. The only difference is that THEIR leaders actually acknowledge them as cannon fodder; the Camarilla is a l'il more discrete about that fact. 'Alright, so 1950-sumpin', this guy named Joseph Pander throws a hissy-fit 'cuz he isn't gettin' the respect he deserves. So after the Sabbat war, he and all the Cai...err, Panders, united against their common enemy, the Moderates.

'Well, the higher-ups got all blushy and excited about it, so they gave 'em official 'clan status' (as though that means anything in the Sabbat) and named Joseph Pander priscus. Amazing, those Sabbat; they're walking contradictions. They don't WANT Antediluvians waking up, but why not go ahead and start making Caitiff princes anyway? It won't hurt! Idiots.

'So, after that, they went from Sabbat-aligned Caitiff cannon fodder to Sabbat-aligned Caitiff cannon fodder with a priscus at the tail end.

'Now, I may be sittin' here and insulting the mooks till I'm blue (or, in my case, black) in the face, but they ain't nothin' to sneeze at. If you piss one too many of 'em off, they'll nail your undead ass to the hood of a Chevy and leave you to meet your maker in the sunlight. I've seen enough folk get death-raped by the Panders without the courtesy reach-around to know they aren't anymore fun to toy with then a trillion-year-dead Tzimisce.

'So, in conclusion, the Pander is your basic brainless, clanless, spineless killing machine. Maybe there wouldn't be so many of 'em if the justicars would recognize 'em as an actual Camarilla clan, but they'd rather stuff it with walnuts then recognize those rats as actual 'lineage'. Hell, it's that kind of thinking that got us into this whole 'Gehenna' mess to begin with...'

-Snotrag, Nosferatu sculptor

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