Getting My Bachelor's Degree

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I had to wait until 2005 to wear black to a graduation.  I skipped my high school graduation ceremony for a number of reasons, and a small one was that they insisted on color-coding the genders.  The boys had to wear purple, and the girls had to wear white.  I have never, ever looked good all in white, and I know I'm not the only one.  My community college mercifully had us wear a shade of red I really liked, but I was still glad to hear that my graduation from Cal State L.A. would be done in one of my best colors - black.

See how pleased I am?  My ex-boyfriend likes this picture because he says it captures something of my sarcasm, and I guess he's right.  But I really was thrilled to be in the midst of so many graduates, including people I'd had classes with for a few years. 

I was most thrilled to be graduating in front of my mother.  She's always been so supportive of my education and so proud to have me continue it, even though it comes with its own difficulties.  I felt bad when I found out my paperwork was too late for me to graduate on stage in 2004, and I panicked when the office told me that there was a problem with my paperwork in 2005.  Even though I got the papers in early, they told me that my name wouldn't be on anything.  Luckily, they were wrong - my name was in the book, but in the wrong section.  So long as my mom had some souvenir of the event, I was relieved.  Graduating cum laude is worth something.

The ceremony was so big and involved so many people that there really weren't any photo opportunities.  I don't think my graduation from GCC was half as big.  My mother was disappointed that she couldn't take more pictures, so she and I had a studio picture done separately.

As my overweening teen self-confidence has been eroded by the firm hand of reality, I have come to work harder not so much for myself, but for the people most important to me.  Their hopes, their desires, their best wishes are reflected in me.  I didn't realize that years ago, but I do now.

My ex-boyfriend Nathan was with me for all three of my major graduations, including this one.  Overall, he was very supportive of my schooling and I'm not sure what I would have done without him. 

I didn't get to attend the rehearsal for my ceremony, but by accident I got to see the MA graduates heading to their rehearsal.  They wore big smiles and some were festooned with homemade decorations, as well as official stoles and hoods.  They looked like they were set to have the time of their lives and their enthusiasm was infectious.  Watching them, I think my decision to go after my MA was sealed.  I remember thinking that I wanted to look and feel like that - and I wanted a big party to celebrate the occasion.